"Melodramatic" is not like me at all, and I can't pull it off in person, but it just screams in neon lights whenever I write something. I can't help it.
Anyway, my last post displeased my sister, so I took it down for this reason. The condensed version of it is that my dad got laid off. I avoided telling any of my friends for a week and as a result I had to vent here and coat it in ridiculous amounts of melodrama. It wasn't really that bad, I was upset when he told us, but I laughed the whole time (nervous habit). I am afraid of what it means, exactly, but my reactions to that vary as much as the differences between an ostrich and a cactus. Sometimes I get extremely worried and think everything is going downhill and OH MY GOD A REPEAT OF THE GREAT DEPRESSION! And other times I just think it's probably better this way and that my dad's much happier.
Now, back to something much less interesting: I have finals starting tomorrow. I haven't studied at all.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
But the next time around, they will laugh
I fell down the stairs in a rather embarrassing place and manner on Wednesday and, while my humiliation has recovered, my ankle has not. It was rush hour in the halls and on the stairs on that morning, and I took the stairs I usually take every morning to get downstairs. It was extremely crowded, and as I was half-way down the second flight of stairs, my ankle slipped. I fell into the crowd of people and my books flew everywhere (along with my binder and the papers in it). I sprained my ankle and limped to P.E. as someone handed me my lunchbox and I tried to respond to all of the thriving-on-dramatic voices of "are you okay!?"
I stifled a laugh at a girl's prayer today, too--a prayer that she wrote. It was a cruel thing to do, but I did not do it out of malice. There were two words in one sentence that I'd never heard together before: "fragrance" and "Jesus." I made an odd little squeaky noise that was quite obviously a stifled laugh, and earned the glares of everyone in the room. I won't ever have friends in Catholicism or history again.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Follies of Today and Fops of Yesterday
Hmm well... not much to say for today. Let's start with yesterday, then.
Yesterday:
The day was fairly uninteresting until I got to Catholicism. I think you can pretty well guess by now what this little part of my rant is going to be about. I should probably give the ridiculously talkative girl next to me a pseudo-name, it will get too complicated if I don't, so: Olga. Anyway, Olga was complaining to me again about things that she somehow expected me to know about (which I did know about, embarrassingly enough, but no way was I going to let on to that) like lineart and some teenybopper art site that occasionally has some cool stuff (my definition, not hers. The site's Deviantart, by the way). She was saying something along the lines of "and you know, if you post lineart, you're just asking for someone to color it" which basically translates to (in words understandable to the general public): "and you know, if you post some uncolored art on an art site with a copyright, then you are just asking for someone to color it in Photoshop in about five minutes and put it up--colored--on the same site, claiming it as your own. You know, because it's perfectly natural to steal copyrighted stuff."
And if that wasn't enough, she proceeded to tell me some "assholes" were getting mad at her for it. Oh, the nerve! Getting mad at someone for breaking the law! In any case... that was bad enough, but then she went on to say something very thoughtless and extremely unnerving.
She said "I wanted to kill myself for the second time in my life."
"Excuse me?" I thought, "over people you don't even know getting mad at you?" I was outraged. After all that's happened at my school, I find it completely inexcusable when people take that lightly. You wanted to kill yourself, Olga? If you had wanted--really wanted--to do such a thing, you would have. If you can stick around to say that sort of thing, then you clearly didn't mean it.
And on that note, that same day (or perhaps the day before... all the days are getting muddled together now) some stupid girl in my English class was repeatedly suggesting in a "joking" manner that perhaps our English teacher was late because he had died. You don't joke about that. I don't care what the circumstances are, that's not funny at all.
Onto something more interesting that I will take less time with: my dad and I went on a walk to the nearby university that night and I kicked over some mushrooms. We found a woman's cell phone in the parking lot and returned it to her, which also took a while.
Today:
Today we had a late start at school (meaning, school starts later than usual) and my mom and I went out for breakfast. School was fairly boring, but I made a fool of myself again in Spanish (oh and Sidney, your sister's in my Spanish class). The teacher already thinks I am incredibly stupid but today made it so much worse. She was showing pictures from a school trip to Peru sponsored by the Spanish department or something and as we were leaving she had fliers on her desk and said "take a flier if you're interested!" I was interested, very much so, except I didn't think my parents would let me go. So as I was thinking all of that, I passed by her desk and kind of slowed down and almost stopped, smiling a really weird smile at her, and I kind of opened my mouth a little and shut it quickly and left. It was really awkward...
I just got back from yoga, which was all right. Tomorrow we get out from school early because we have mass and the freshman get their Bibles. I remember when I was a freshman and got my Bible. The French teacher grabbed my arm roughly on the way down to the stage and whispered in my ear very loudly "your skirt is too short!" That was a horrible, horrible way to start things. So Nat, if you're reading this, make sure it doesn't happen to you!
Yesterday:
The day was fairly uninteresting until I got to Catholicism. I think you can pretty well guess by now what this little part of my rant is going to be about. I should probably give the ridiculously talkative girl next to me a pseudo-name, it will get too complicated if I don't, so: Olga. Anyway, Olga was complaining to me again about things that she somehow expected me to know about (which I did know about, embarrassingly enough, but no way was I going to let on to that) like lineart and some teenybopper art site that occasionally has some cool stuff (my definition, not hers. The site's Deviantart, by the way). She was saying something along the lines of "and you know, if you post lineart, you're just asking for someone to color it" which basically translates to (in words understandable to the general public): "and you know, if you post some uncolored art on an art site with a copyright, then you are just asking for someone to color it in Photoshop in about five minutes and put it up--colored--on the same site, claiming it as your own. You know, because it's perfectly natural to steal copyrighted stuff."
And if that wasn't enough, she proceeded to tell me some "assholes" were getting mad at her for it. Oh, the nerve! Getting mad at someone for breaking the law! In any case... that was bad enough, but then she went on to say something very thoughtless and extremely unnerving.
She said "I wanted to kill myself for the second time in my life."
"Excuse me?" I thought, "over people you don't even know getting mad at you?" I was outraged. After all that's happened at my school, I find it completely inexcusable when people take that lightly. You wanted to kill yourself, Olga? If you had wanted--really wanted--to do such a thing, you would have. If you can stick around to say that sort of thing, then you clearly didn't mean it.
And on that note, that same day (or perhaps the day before... all the days are getting muddled together now) some stupid girl in my English class was repeatedly suggesting in a "joking" manner that perhaps our English teacher was late because he had died. You don't joke about that. I don't care what the circumstances are, that's not funny at all.
Onto something more interesting that I will take less time with: my dad and I went on a walk to the nearby university that night and I kicked over some mushrooms. We found a woman's cell phone in the parking lot and returned it to her, which also took a while.
Today:
Today we had a late start at school (meaning, school starts later than usual) and my mom and I went out for breakfast. School was fairly boring, but I made a fool of myself again in Spanish (oh and Sidney, your sister's in my Spanish class). The teacher already thinks I am incredibly stupid but today made it so much worse. She was showing pictures from a school trip to Peru sponsored by the Spanish department or something and as we were leaving she had fliers on her desk and said "take a flier if you're interested!" I was interested, very much so, except I didn't think my parents would let me go. So as I was thinking all of that, I passed by her desk and kind of slowed down and almost stopped, smiling a really weird smile at her, and I kind of opened my mouth a little and shut it quickly and left. It was really awkward...
I just got back from yoga, which was all right. Tomorrow we get out from school early because we have mass and the freshman get their Bibles. I remember when I was a freshman and got my Bible. The French teacher grabbed my arm roughly on the way down to the stage and whispered in my ear very loudly "your skirt is too short!" That was a horrible, horrible way to start things. So Nat, if you're reading this, make sure it doesn't happen to you!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Beginning of Sophomore Year
Just recently got back from school--first day of sophomore year, that is. The halls all seemed far more crowded then last year, and the school feels quite different, as though a thick layer of whiteout has been applied and a sleek, unfamiliar pen has written strange words over it all.
But enough attempts at waxing poetics, let us carry to on the more important part, classes:
1. World History: nothing happened here. My World History teacher is the one that gave the AP World History entrance exam, in which I didn't bother to take the second half of. I wonder if she remembers.
2. Spanish 3: the teacher talks almost solely in Spanish. I don't mind, but my classmates seemed troubled. Save for three or four students, everyone in the class is a junior--it's a little intimidating.
3. Algebra 2: same thing with the juniors overpopulating the class, only in this class there are only two sophomores (including myself). We have a Taiwanese teacher, and one of the juniors kept asking rude questions and lumping Taiwan in with China and Japan.
4. Honors English 2: I like the teacher for this class, I wanted him my freshman year but he only taught regular English. The only thing I don't like about him is that his classroom religious practices are slightly overwhelming. It isn't extreme, but it's quite more than I'm used to. Perhaps it was just so for today, though. We talked a little about Dorian Gray--we wouldn't have, but someone asked a question about it ("Are the main characters homosexual?"). Well, my answer is that they're certainly not straight. I was terribly disappointed that the teacher failed to mention English romantic friendships (of which I just learned of recently, upon seeing Brideshead Revisited). I think that really covers their attractions to each other, that term. "Man crushes" would have also been an apt term, but I understand it would most likely be a little crude a term for a teacher to use.
5. Lunch: I saw Nat at lunch. Lunch wasn't really exciting though, since I did not have anything to eat. I tried to eat a brownie but I couldn't, and it just got stuck in my braces. I worry that when I finally am able to eat without pain, I won't want to anyway because I'll feel so disgusting getting food stuck everywhere.
6. Honors Chemistry 1: This was a rather unpleasant class. Instead of getting a table and chair like everyone else, I had to sit alone at a lab table in the back on a stool. I really hope my seating arrangement will change, sometime. It's quite uncomfortable.
7. Catholicism: The only "exciting" (if you will) part of this class was the girl next to me. And by "exciting" I mean very talkative and rather self-absorbed... You know those people who try to strike a conversation with you and all they can talk about is themselves? I do appreciate when people at least try to ask about you, and at least attempt to feign interest. It isn't something I enjoy, but it's certainly appreciated in contrast to listening to someone talk very animatedly about themself for long periods of time.
But enough attempts at waxing poetics, let us carry to on the more important part, classes:
1. World History: nothing happened here. My World History teacher is the one that gave the AP World History entrance exam, in which I didn't bother to take the second half of. I wonder if she remembers.
2. Spanish 3: the teacher talks almost solely in Spanish. I don't mind, but my classmates seemed troubled. Save for three or four students, everyone in the class is a junior--it's a little intimidating.
3. Algebra 2: same thing with the juniors overpopulating the class, only in this class there are only two sophomores (including myself). We have a Taiwanese teacher, and one of the juniors kept asking rude questions and lumping Taiwan in with China and Japan.
4. Honors English 2: I like the teacher for this class, I wanted him my freshman year but he only taught regular English. The only thing I don't like about him is that his classroom religious practices are slightly overwhelming. It isn't extreme, but it's quite more than I'm used to. Perhaps it was just so for today, though. We talked a little about Dorian Gray--we wouldn't have, but someone asked a question about it ("Are the main characters homosexual?"). Well, my answer is that they're certainly not straight. I was terribly disappointed that the teacher failed to mention English romantic friendships (of which I just learned of recently, upon seeing Brideshead Revisited). I think that really covers their attractions to each other, that term. "Man crushes" would have also been an apt term, but I understand it would most likely be a little crude a term for a teacher to use.
5. Lunch: I saw Nat at lunch. Lunch wasn't really exciting though, since I did not have anything to eat. I tried to eat a brownie but I couldn't, and it just got stuck in my braces. I worry that when I finally am able to eat without pain, I won't want to anyway because I'll feel so disgusting getting food stuck everywhere.
6. Honors Chemistry 1: This was a rather unpleasant class. Instead of getting a table and chair like everyone else, I had to sit alone at a lab table in the back on a stool. I really hope my seating arrangement will change, sometime. It's quite uncomfortable.
7. Catholicism: The only "exciting" (if you will) part of this class was the girl next to me. And by "exciting" I mean very talkative and rather self-absorbed... You know those people who try to strike a conversation with you and all they can talk about is themselves? I do appreciate when people at least try to ask about you, and at least attempt to feign interest. It isn't something I enjoy, but it's certainly appreciated in contrast to listening to someone talk very animatedly about themself for long periods of time.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Just got back from a concert
Hullo, just got back from my first concert ever! I went to a The Hush Sound concert with two of my friends--Charlotte and Katrina--and it was quite fabulous. Someone kept touching my butt (by accident, I'm sure...) at the end, but it all went very well otherwise. The first few bands that played weren't that great, but The Hush Sound was amazing. I got a shirt and got Bob and Chris to sign it (Chris looks like that honors English teacher that is the husband of my old school librarian). God, I sound like such a groupie. I love The Hush Sound but in all honesty I'm not that obsessed with them (really, I swear!). Now, The Dresden Dolls and Franz Ferdinand on the other hand.... haha, just kidding (sort of).
The only bad thing was that before the concert Katrina and Charlotte were talking about some sleepover thing/party/whatever at Charlotte's house and Katrina asked if I was going--to which, of course, I replied "no" because I hadn't been invited. Apparently a friend of theirs in which whom I am not friends with (simply because I don't know her, though she doesn't seem to like me much anyway) sent the invites on Facebook. Charlotte then sort of invited me, but didn't give any details about it whatsoever. Then when I left her house, she said "see you at Jazz's house!" --which is the day after that thing she sort of invited me to--so, guess I'm not really invited then. I probably wasn't really going to go anyway for numerous reasons (like that I don't know a lot of people going very well and they don't seem to like me much to name one and also because even before I was vaguely uninvited I wasn't really invited anyway). So, I guess I shouldn't really feel bad, but it's kind of awkward...
On the subject of "awkward," I got my concert ticket signed "to Katy, GK" or something by the lead female singer of the band. I know Katy loves the band--she was the one who introduced me to it after all--but we're not on fabulous terms right now. She's very mad at me for failing to make a sincere effort to see her in quite a while. I am hoping to resolve that, though it won't be easy and I know she'll still feel bitter about it. I won't go into any of that though, it's all very complicated. The point here is that I have this dreadful feeling she'll be mad at me when I give her the ticket I got signed for her. Mad that she didn't go, that she didn't know about it, that I didn't invite her... who knows, but I know she'll be mad. And that makes me mad too, because she did not mention anything about The Dresden Dolls concert (I LOVE THEM as I have mentioned before) until like the night before and she didn't bring anything back from there for me either--so I really don't think her anger would be justified... but she will be angry, I'm sure. That's all right though, because I'm ready for it. I think.
On another completely irrelevant note: I've been getting cold a ton recently. I used to never get cold but now, just sitting, I'll get so cold I begin to shake and my teeth start to clatter. It's a little worrisome, but I don't know quite what's wrong with me. Sometimes it goes away after a little while if I do nothing and sometimes it stays until I take action (i.e. hot bath, sweatshirt, jump under the covers...). I've no idea what it is.
The only bad thing was that before the concert Katrina and Charlotte were talking about some sleepover thing/party/whatever at Charlotte's house and Katrina asked if I was going--to which, of course, I replied "no" because I hadn't been invited. Apparently a friend of theirs in which whom I am not friends with (simply because I don't know her, though she doesn't seem to like me much anyway) sent the invites on Facebook. Charlotte then sort of invited me, but didn't give any details about it whatsoever. Then when I left her house, she said "see you at Jazz's house!" --which is the day after that thing she sort of invited me to--so, guess I'm not really invited then. I probably wasn't really going to go anyway for numerous reasons (like that I don't know a lot of people going very well and they don't seem to like me much to name one and also because even before I was vaguely uninvited I wasn't really invited anyway). So, I guess I shouldn't really feel bad, but it's kind of awkward...
On the subject of "awkward," I got my concert ticket signed "to Katy, GK" or something by the lead female singer of the band. I know Katy loves the band--she was the one who introduced me to it after all--but we're not on fabulous terms right now. She's very mad at me for failing to make a sincere effort to see her in quite a while. I am hoping to resolve that, though it won't be easy and I know she'll still feel bitter about it. I won't go into any of that though, it's all very complicated. The point here is that I have this dreadful feeling she'll be mad at me when I give her the ticket I got signed for her. Mad that she didn't go, that she didn't know about it, that I didn't invite her... who knows, but I know she'll be mad. And that makes me mad too, because she did not mention anything about The Dresden Dolls concert (I LOVE THEM as I have mentioned before) until like the night before and she didn't bring anything back from there for me either--so I really don't think her anger would be justified... but she will be angry, I'm sure. That's all right though, because I'm ready for it. I think.
On another completely irrelevant note: I've been getting cold a ton recently. I used to never get cold but now, just sitting, I'll get so cold I begin to shake and my teeth start to clatter. It's a little worrisome, but I don't know quite what's wrong with me. Sometimes it goes away after a little while if I do nothing and sometimes it stays until I take action (i.e. hot bath, sweatshirt, jump under the covers...). I've no idea what it is.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Almost cut my hair, it happened just the other day
Almost cut my hair
It happened just the other day
It's gettin' kinda long
I could have said it was in my way
But I didn't and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly
Cause I feel like I owe it to someone
Must be because I had the flu for Christmas
And I'm not feeling up to par
It increases my paranoia
Like looking in my (rear-view) mirror and seeing a police car
But I'm not giving in an inch to fear
Cause I promised myself this year
I feel like I owe it to someone
When I finally get myself together
I'm going to get down in that sunny southern weather
And I find a place inside a laugh
Separate the wheat from the chaff
I feel like I owe it to someone
--Almost Cut My Hair by David Crosby (I love this song!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I finally got a haircut today (due to much grief on my mom's part that I was turning into a hippie with my long raggedy hair). I'm still not sure what I think of it exactly. It's a little too short and it's slightly different sizes in the front and back (I mean, I got layers so that's how it's supposed to be but... it still looks a little funny).
Nothing else is really going on today. We're doing yoga again later, but I'm not very excited about it to be honest. I also finished a video game I'd been playing for a few days. It was supposed to last 30-50 hours but I think I finished it much sooner. Not sure whether that's a good thing though, since now the only good game I have yet to play is on the PS2 and I prefer playing games on my laptop.
It happened just the other day
It's gettin' kinda long
I could have said it was in my way
But I didn't and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly
Cause I feel like I owe it to someone
Must be because I had the flu for Christmas
And I'm not feeling up to par
It increases my paranoia
Like looking in my (rear-view) mirror and seeing a police car
But I'm not giving in an inch to fear
Cause I promised myself this year
I feel like I owe it to someone
When I finally get myself together
I'm going to get down in that sunny southern weather
And I find a place inside a laugh
Separate the wheat from the chaff
I feel like I owe it to someone
--Almost Cut My Hair by David Crosby (I love this song!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I finally got a haircut today (due to much grief on my mom's part that I was turning into a hippie with my long raggedy hair). I'm still not sure what I think of it exactly. It's a little too short and it's slightly different sizes in the front and back (I mean, I got layers so that's how it's supposed to be but... it still looks a little funny).
Nothing else is really going on today. We're doing yoga again later, but I'm not very excited about it to be honest. I also finished a video game I'd been playing for a few days. It was supposed to last 30-50 hours but I think I finished it much sooner. Not sure whether that's a good thing though, since now the only good game I have yet to play is on the PS2 and I prefer playing games on my laptop.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
More drivers ed, Harry Potter, and politics
In my post about more-boring-than-usual things, I shall begin with more about Drivers Ed. Today I finally filled out all my permit info with help from my mother and when I tried to turn it in, I got the envelope promptly returned with a sticky note on it saying "b/c you answered 'yes' to a medical question, you have to interview @ the DPS in person." Yeah, I'm pretty thrilled...
I also watched the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince trailer last night, which was a huge disappointment. I'll try to say this in the most non-spoilery manner possible (though you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself if you still haven't read the book!): it was chock full of old Voldy and the Half Blood Prince was nowhere to be seen. How utterly pointless. I also got my schedule fairly recently (school schedule), and it appears I have none of the teachers I wanted. I really wanted to get my crazy homeroom teacher for religion (because although he's a bit nutters, his class sounds fascinating) and the honors English teacher who's the husband of the librarian at my old school, but I got different teachers instead. Oh well.
On another note, I stumbled across a "Why are you a Republican in 2008?" video contest on Youtube and had a great deal of amusement in watching the replies. One was particularly cliche, taking the typical route and mentioning "because I believe in God and the Bible." Oh yes, because--of course--Democrats are entirely incapable of theological ties and the Bible specifically states "thou shalt be a Republican." As someone who lives in an area full of these crazies, I'm fully aware that this is a very typical neo-Conservative approach... however, when randomly smooshed in with long tangents about soldiers and money (and with none of the usual "...and the Bible says homos are an abomination and those heathen Democrats promote the gay agenda!" following it, it seemed quite unreasonable. Without having even a ridiculous reason following the statement, it sounds absolutely absurd. And on the topic of politics, in all honesty my enthusiasm for Obama is waning a bit with regard to the state of his campaign recently. Now, is it just me, or has a touch of tailoring been done to his beliefs to please the Moderates and Republicans? In any case, Gravel remains my backup hero. I love that man... if he actually had a chance, I'd be all over his campaign.
I also watched the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince trailer last night, which was a huge disappointment. I'll try to say this in the most non-spoilery manner possible (though you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself if you still haven't read the book!): it was chock full of old Voldy and the Half Blood Prince was nowhere to be seen. How utterly pointless. I also got my schedule fairly recently (school schedule), and it appears I have none of the teachers I wanted. I really wanted to get my crazy homeroom teacher for religion (because although he's a bit nutters, his class sounds fascinating) and the honors English teacher who's the husband of the librarian at my old school, but I got different teachers instead. Oh well.
On another note, I stumbled across a "Why are you a Republican in 2008?" video contest on Youtube and had a great deal of amusement in watching the replies. One was particularly cliche, taking the typical route and mentioning "because I believe in God and the Bible." Oh yes, because--of course--Democrats are entirely incapable of theological ties and the Bible specifically states "thou shalt be a Republican." As someone who lives in an area full of these crazies, I'm fully aware that this is a very typical neo-Conservative approach... however, when randomly smooshed in with long tangents about soldiers and money (and with none of the usual "...and the Bible says homos are an abomination and those heathen Democrats promote the gay agenda!" following it, it seemed quite unreasonable. Without having even a ridiculous reason following the statement, it sounds absolutely absurd. And on the topic of politics, in all honesty my enthusiasm for Obama is waning a bit with regard to the state of his campaign recently. Now, is it just me, or has a touch of tailoring been done to his beliefs to please the Moderates and Republicans? In any case, Gravel remains my backup hero. I love that man... if he actually had a chance, I'd be all over his campaign.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Drivers ed and other such things
Back from Spain now, obviously. It was quite a trip to say the least. There's a lot I could say about it, but I think it will suffice to say it was a blast and that almost everyone got in trouble for one thing or another.
My mother, my sister, and I also went to Minnesota after Spain. That was not nearly as fun though, and as a matter of fact, we left about five hours earlier than we needed to in order to get the airport just for the sake of getting away. We were there visiting my mother's side of the family, and they're a little crazy to say the least. They're all quite judgmental, despite the fact that none of them are religious at all (I know, I know... way to generalize). I think they like me, but in all honesty I'm not fond of them at all. I don't really like any of my extended family save three to five people.
Now I'm taking drivers ed with my friend Jazz and today my father brought an additional drivers ed course I have to complete in order to get a discount on my insurance (which is going to take forever). I'm not getting a car any time soon, however. When I do though, I want an old-fashioned pick-up truck or a Jeep. Too bad they're not very environmentally efficient... and the repairs would be hell to pay.
Anyway, I changed the color scheme of my blog. I don't think pink fits me very well. Neither does green I suppose, but I like this layout and blue just looked godawful.
My mother, my sister, and I also went to Minnesota after Spain. That was not nearly as fun though, and as a matter of fact, we left about five hours earlier than we needed to in order to get the airport just for the sake of getting away. We were there visiting my mother's side of the family, and they're a little crazy to say the least. They're all quite judgmental, despite the fact that none of them are religious at all (I know, I know... way to generalize). I think they like me, but in all honesty I'm not fond of them at all. I don't really like any of my extended family save three to five people.
Now I'm taking drivers ed with my friend Jazz and today my father brought an additional drivers ed course I have to complete in order to get a discount on my insurance (which is going to take forever). I'm not getting a car any time soon, however. When I do though, I want an old-fashioned pick-up truck or a Jeep. Too bad they're not very environmentally efficient... and the repairs would be hell to pay.
Anyway, I changed the color scheme of my blog. I don't think pink fits me very well. Neither does green I suppose, but I like this layout and blue just looked godawful.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
España
Sydney is over right now and she and Nat are downstairs talking or something. I invited a friend over as well since I'm leaving for Spain soon, and considering I haven't seen her in quite a while and probably won't for quite a while when I get back, I felt obligated to do so. In all honesty, I'd rather spend these last few days alone, but it's all good I s'pose.
Anyway, I'm pretty excited about Spain. Quite a few of my friends are going, as well as Vin. Vin's one of my old friends from middle school, he left after 6th or 7th grade. He's very smart and he's hilarious, but he's a little eccentric--which is part of his charm unless we are talking politics. Upon talking to him about politics fairly recently, he mentioned that Huckabee's policies were the ones he agreed with most out of all of the candidates and former candidates. This was utterly horrifying to me, of course, considering that fat man is the living, walking contradiction of the ideas most important to me. I didn't dare mention that the social policies I most agreed with Gravel's, but I told him that I was very socially liberal and that I was rooting for Obama (who got the nomination recently, YES!). Anyway, despite the stark contrast in our political beliefs, we get along very well and I'm glad he's going to Spain too since I haven't seen him in forever.
Also, just a reminder Nat: don't you dare pinch my butt in Spain. I'll assume you are an old Spaniard man and it won't be pretty.
Anyway, I'm pretty excited about Spain. Quite a few of my friends are going, as well as Vin. Vin's one of my old friends from middle school, he left after 6th or 7th grade. He's very smart and he's hilarious, but he's a little eccentric--which is part of his charm unless we are talking politics. Upon talking to him about politics fairly recently, he mentioned that Huckabee's policies were the ones he agreed with most out of all of the candidates and former candidates. This was utterly horrifying to me, of course, considering that fat man is the living, walking contradiction of the ideas most important to me. I didn't dare mention that the social policies I most agreed with Gravel's, but I told him that I was very socially liberal and that I was rooting for Obama (who got the nomination recently, YES!). Anyway, despite the stark contrast in our political beliefs, we get along very well and I'm glad he's going to Spain too since I haven't seen him in forever.
Also, just a reminder Nat: don't you dare pinch my butt in Spain. I'll assume you are an old Spaniard man and it won't be pretty.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Summer and finals
Well, it's been a while since I last posted anything here. I prolly don't have any even occasional readers after that depressing fiasco that occupied my last two posts, but I suppose it's nice to talk to myself too, every once in a while. Anyway, it's Summer and I'm ecstatic about it.
A lot of weird crap has been going on recently, in the last week of school that is. There's a mass exodus of teachers this year (about 7 are leaving, including 3 teachers I had). Frankly though, I'm not really upset. There's only one teacher out of those three that I had that're leaving that I liked--my Spanish teacher. She was fabulous. My health and scripture teachers... not so much. My scripture teacher thought I was a godless heathen and my health teacher, well... let's just say he left a not-so-nice parting gift in the answer choices on the multiple choice final. It was weird. Really weird. But I won't get into detail about that, there are other things to talk about and that whole situation was just too strange to explain.
Onto something slightly more interesting, someone hacked onto the school internet system thing and posted a fake honors biology review under the teacher's name. It threw us all off and it was... disastrous. I'm making it sound very petty, but I can assure you it was quite a big deal. The honors bio final was an absolute nightmare concerning it included issues such as the following:
1. We had missed about a week and half of school because of former teacher's death
2. We were being taught then by someone who didn't really seem to know what she was talking about
3. Our final was made up by the regular bio teacher--who didn't know what we had learned and whom we'd never met before
4. Some knucklehead posted a fake review on the school website to throw everyone off on the final
Anyway.... I'm going to Spain next week, so that's exciting. I'm a little worried about it, but it'll be fun.
A lot of weird crap has been going on recently, in the last week of school that is. There's a mass exodus of teachers this year (about 7 are leaving, including 3 teachers I had). Frankly though, I'm not really upset. There's only one teacher out of those three that I had that're leaving that I liked--my Spanish teacher. She was fabulous. My health and scripture teachers... not so much. My scripture teacher thought I was a godless heathen and my health teacher, well... let's just say he left a not-so-nice parting gift in the answer choices on the multiple choice final. It was weird. Really weird. But I won't get into detail about that, there are other things to talk about and that whole situation was just too strange to explain.
Onto something slightly more interesting, someone hacked onto the school internet system thing and posted a fake honors biology review under the teacher's name. It threw us all off and it was... disastrous. I'm making it sound very petty, but I can assure you it was quite a big deal. The honors bio final was an absolute nightmare concerning it included issues such as the following:
1. We had missed about a week and half of school because of former teacher's death
2. We were being taught then by someone who didn't really seem to know what she was talking about
3. Our final was made up by the regular bio teacher--who didn't know what we had learned and whom we'd never met before
4. Some knucklehead posted a fake review on the school website to throw everyone off on the final
Anyway.... I'm going to Spain next week, so that's exciting. I'm a little worried about it, but it'll be fun.
Friday, April 11, 2008
And finally, it's Friday
Well, it's finally Friday. This week went on forever.
Yesterday, we had mass at school in honor of the science teacher, and we got these little colorful striped ribbons (they're the shape of those breast cancer ribbons). It was very sad, and the teachers were all either wiped out or in terrible moods afterwards. The day went by slowly and I had biology right after lunch. The biology room still had the flowers from the lab we had done on Friday, they were sitting on the table wilting. The sign with her name on it was still taped to the door.
We have to finish the work we were supposed to do this week by Monday. It's really distressing, I want to cry every time I touch anything related to biology now. I still have a lot of work to finish. Later yesterday, four of my friends came over to spend the night so we could go to the funeral together this morning. For the most part, we chatted about trivial things, but we couldn't go more than an hour without talking about the incident. This morning, we went to the funeral together. In the beginning it was fine, but towards the end when her family spoke about her, I couldn't force the tears back. I kept sniffing a lot during the service since I was crying and, to top that off, I have a bad cold. After we left the church, I was crying the most of my friends. I don't usually cry, so I think it scared them a bit.
After the service, we went to our old middle school in which my sister still attends. We had today off to go to the funeral, so it was about 2:30 by the time we arrived at our old school. In the car on the way there, my hands were sweating and I felt sick. For once I was nervous to visit my old school, afraid they would ask about what had happened or, to act less nosy, indirectly ask by inquiring about the little ribbons on our blazers. Sure enough, they did.
When we first got there, we greeted our former principal, who congratulated us on all being on high honors. He asked about the ribbons and I said politely "could we maybe not... talk about that?" He asked about it again a few minutes later anyway. Now, Former Principal, I know you mean well, but what exactly do you not understand about "could we not talk about that?"? One of my friends answered "it's for our science teacher" and since my old school tends to gossip quite a lot among the faculty and staff, he understood and proceeded to apologize for the loss. Two other teachers asked about the ribbons. I suggested we start telling people they were merely for decoration, but one of my friends just couldn't keep her mouth shut about the topic. It's fine, I know some people get over things by talking about them like that, but personally there is nothing I despise more right now than talking about that incident with people who don't go to my school.
Yesterday, we had mass at school in honor of the science teacher, and we got these little colorful striped ribbons (they're the shape of those breast cancer ribbons). It was very sad, and the teachers were all either wiped out or in terrible moods afterwards. The day went by slowly and I had biology right after lunch. The biology room still had the flowers from the lab we had done on Friday, they were sitting on the table wilting. The sign with her name on it was still taped to the door.
We have to finish the work we were supposed to do this week by Monday. It's really distressing, I want to cry every time I touch anything related to biology now. I still have a lot of work to finish. Later yesterday, four of my friends came over to spend the night so we could go to the funeral together this morning. For the most part, we chatted about trivial things, but we couldn't go more than an hour without talking about the incident. This morning, we went to the funeral together. In the beginning it was fine, but towards the end when her family spoke about her, I couldn't force the tears back. I kept sniffing a lot during the service since I was crying and, to top that off, I have a bad cold. After we left the church, I was crying the most of my friends. I don't usually cry, so I think it scared them a bit.
After the service, we went to our old middle school in which my sister still attends. We had today off to go to the funeral, so it was about 2:30 by the time we arrived at our old school. In the car on the way there, my hands were sweating and I felt sick. For once I was nervous to visit my old school, afraid they would ask about what had happened or, to act less nosy, indirectly ask by inquiring about the little ribbons on our blazers. Sure enough, they did.
When we first got there, we greeted our former principal, who congratulated us on all being on high honors. He asked about the ribbons and I said politely "could we maybe not... talk about that?" He asked about it again a few minutes later anyway. Now, Former Principal, I know you mean well, but what exactly do you not understand about "could we not talk about that?"? One of my friends answered "it's for our science teacher" and since my old school tends to gossip quite a lot among the faculty and staff, he understood and proceeded to apologize for the loss. Two other teachers asked about the ribbons. I suggested we start telling people they were merely for decoration, but one of my friends just couldn't keep her mouth shut about the topic. It's fine, I know some people get over things by talking about them like that, but personally there is nothing I despise more right now than talking about that incident with people who don't go to my school.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
This is why I don't believe in Determinism
Today was quite possibly one of the worst days I've ever had. A horrible conclusion to something already so awful.
On Saturday, I had a dream that I was at school in the cafeteria. They announced over the intercom or whatever it is that we all had to go outside. When we were outside, there was a bus, and they said the 9th grade honors biology teacher (one of my teachers) had to leave. We didn't see her, but the bus left soon after we were given the news and everyone burst into tears.
On Monday, it was announced that the biology teacher had died. I was sick that day, but I heard from my mom. They didn't know yet the cause of death. Everyone at school was hysterical according to my friends, who were also very upset. I had a really bad feeling about it all.
Today, my sister (Nat) shadowed. That's when you go to a school you're considering and follow someone for half a day. Today... was not a good day for that. In the morning, we waited thirty minutes longer than usual for class to start because of a meeting the teachers were having. We were told then to go to homeroom. When we sat down and my homeroom teacher entered, he told us that the cause of death was suicide. I think we were all too shocked to do anything, so we just sat there until we had to go to second period.
In second period, honors geometry, we all just sat there for fourty-five minutes. The first fifteen minutes we were all crying, then we just sat there not knowing what to think. Nat sat at the desk behind me doing nothing, I felt terrible for her but I didn't really want to do anything so I just gave her my backpack and told her she could use my laptop.
The next two periods, we did the same thing. We sat there, just thinking about everything in silence, for another two sets of forty five minutes. Lunch time finally came and our friend Matt came over from the boys' school across the street. He kept talking about his biology test. We all wanted him to leave.
And now I'm at home and it's almost time for bed. My pen name on here is coincidentally her first name... I'm going to change it, so don't be too confused. I don't know what to think, still. This is upsetting and it screws up my perception like nothing else. The one group of people I've always trusted more than any other is teachers. They've always been like gods to me--strong, responsible, and untouchable. Now I don't know what I think about anything. And I keep thinking about my dream and feeling really guilty. It feels like I could have done something, if I had only known to take it seriously I could have told someone and maybe this wouldn't have happened. But I'm confused too, and I can't push down the feeling of abandonment that keeps bubbling to the surface whenever I step inside the science building. The last time I saw her was on Friday in the library near the afternoon when she was grading papers. I had taken a makeup test before then, during lunch. She had told me as I was leaving the room after taking the test that I could see her if I needed any help with catching up with science. I wonder if she knew, then, that she wouldn't even be here the next Monday? She was such a nice woman, she was always smiling and so enthusiastic about biology. She was so young too, none of us ever thought something like this would happen. But it did and I know every time I walk into that building again... I'll remember.
On Saturday, I had a dream that I was at school in the cafeteria. They announced over the intercom or whatever it is that we all had to go outside. When we were outside, there was a bus, and they said the 9th grade honors biology teacher (one of my teachers) had to leave. We didn't see her, but the bus left soon after we were given the news and everyone burst into tears.
On Monday, it was announced that the biology teacher had died. I was sick that day, but I heard from my mom. They didn't know yet the cause of death. Everyone at school was hysterical according to my friends, who were also very upset. I had a really bad feeling about it all.
Today, my sister (Nat) shadowed. That's when you go to a school you're considering and follow someone for half a day. Today... was not a good day for that. In the morning, we waited thirty minutes longer than usual for class to start because of a meeting the teachers were having. We were told then to go to homeroom. When we sat down and my homeroom teacher entered, he told us that the cause of death was suicide. I think we were all too shocked to do anything, so we just sat there until we had to go to second period.
In second period, honors geometry, we all just sat there for fourty-five minutes. The first fifteen minutes we were all crying, then we just sat there not knowing what to think. Nat sat at the desk behind me doing nothing, I felt terrible for her but I didn't really want to do anything so I just gave her my backpack and told her she could use my laptop.
The next two periods, we did the same thing. We sat there, just thinking about everything in silence, for another two sets of forty five minutes. Lunch time finally came and our friend Matt came over from the boys' school across the street. He kept talking about his biology test. We all wanted him to leave.
And now I'm at home and it's almost time for bed. My pen name on here is coincidentally her first name... I'm going to change it, so don't be too confused. I don't know what to think, still. This is upsetting and it screws up my perception like nothing else. The one group of people I've always trusted more than any other is teachers. They've always been like gods to me--strong, responsible, and untouchable. Now I don't know what I think about anything. And I keep thinking about my dream and feeling really guilty. It feels like I could have done something, if I had only known to take it seriously I could have told someone and maybe this wouldn't have happened. But I'm confused too, and I can't push down the feeling of abandonment that keeps bubbling to the surface whenever I step inside the science building. The last time I saw her was on Friday in the library near the afternoon when she was grading papers. I had taken a makeup test before then, during lunch. She had told me as I was leaving the room after taking the test that I could see her if I needed any help with catching up with science. I wonder if she knew, then, that she wouldn't even be here the next Monday? She was such a nice woman, she was always smiling and so enthusiastic about biology. She was so young too, none of us ever thought something like this would happen. But it did and I know every time I walk into that building again... I'll remember.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Typing [almost] solely with one's non-dominant hand is rather tricky it seems
Well... I'm typing this all with my left hand and my right hand index finger only. I got a biopsy the day before yesterday on my right hand middle finger and I'm not supposed to bend it or the stitches will fly off and it'll spurt blood (okay I made up that last part, but it makes sense right?). I had to shave yesterday using just my left hand (which just so happens to be my non-dominant hand) and it was absurdly difficult.
In speech class last week we watched The Color Purple, which was absolutely fascinating. My classmates were rather squicked at the kiss between Shug Avery(sp?) and Celie, which was rather obnoxious but it's to be expected of southern conservative Catholic girls I suppose. I should mention, though, that my poor expectations of what speech class would be like did not manifest themselves. I like the teacher a lot and the class is at times quite interesting, though as expected there is also some of that "all media is propaganda" going on. On Friday, we had a raffle holiday (in which we had to have sold 130 tickets to have off) but the raffle idea is absolutely absurd to me. It's such a scam. Everyone thinks they're expected to sell the tickets to neighbors and random people but honestly now--who would buy raffle tickets from some random little girl? Where I live: no one. The faculty knows this, and therefore secretly expects us to sell all our tickets to our parents. But the thing is--if we're going to be hitting up our relatives anyway, why not just include the $130 in our tuition fee? It's such a hassle.
And I've been absolutely exhausted this whole week. I think I'm going to take a looooong nap today if I can get away with it.
In speech class last week we watched The Color Purple, which was absolutely fascinating. My classmates were rather squicked at the kiss between Shug Avery(sp?) and Celie, which was rather obnoxious but it's to be expected of southern conservative Catholic girls I suppose. I should mention, though, that my poor expectations of what speech class would be like did not manifest themselves. I like the teacher a lot and the class is at times quite interesting, though as expected there is also some of that "all media is propaganda" going on. On Friday, we had a raffle holiday (in which we had to have sold 130 tickets to have off) but the raffle idea is absolutely absurd to me. It's such a scam. Everyone thinks they're expected to sell the tickets to neighbors and random people but honestly now--who would buy raffle tickets from some random little girl? Where I live: no one. The faculty knows this, and therefore secretly expects us to sell all our tickets to our parents. But the thing is--if we're going to be hitting up our relatives anyway, why not just include the $130 in our tuition fee? It's such a hassle.
And I've been absolutely exhausted this whole week. I think I'm going to take a looooong nap today if I can get away with it.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Dear crazy Catholic school: please be more exciting!
Even after all this time, nothing entirely interesting going on right now save for the comments of my crazy homeroom teacher. My homeroom teacher, who I will have all four years of high school, is a conservative man in his 60's of German descent. This week is diversity week and during the mornings and afternoons my school plays music from different cultures on the TV (we have an amateur TV broadcast thing instead of an intercom system or whatever it is). He was joking that they should play Nazi music, and after hearing about a contest for "most authentic native dress" he said he would win if he brought his Nazi armband. I guess he had forgotten there was a Jewish girl in his homeroom...
And because it's diversity week, we had an assembly on Monday. In assembly they played a 20 minute video about the civil rights movement (the theme for this year's diversity week is fighting racism by the way) and then two bishops spoke. After the bishops were done talking, they asked if anyone had any questions. A senior girl stood up and asked "what did the Catholic church think of segregation?" That alone was obnoxious considering her question had already been answered in the video and was really not that hard to guess the answer too anyway, but that was not the end of the very insightful questions my peers had. Two more senior girls then asked, in different wording, the same question. Apparently people in my school need to ask a question not once, but three times before they can fully comprehend the answer.
And because it's diversity week, we had an assembly on Monday. In assembly they played a 20 minute video about the civil rights movement (the theme for this year's diversity week is fighting racism by the way) and then two bishops spoke. After the bishops were done talking, they asked if anyone had any questions. A senior girl stood up and asked "what did the Catholic church think of segregation?" That alone was obnoxious considering her question had already been answered in the video and was really not that hard to guess the answer too anyway, but that was not the end of the very insightful questions my peers had. Two more senior girls then asked, in different wording, the same question. Apparently people in my school need to ask a question not once, but three times before they can fully comprehend the answer.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Substantialicious?
Today was my first day back to school from the holidays. I got to school before all my friends as usual and when they finally showed up we talked about report cards. My parents seemed rather disappointed by my grades, speaking of that, and I was a little displeased to see that. I thought I did just fine. Anyway, they were all "what is this 'high honors' business? It's great by the way, but what does it mean? You're in the top... what percent of your class?" Of course, I had no idea, and neither did my other high honors friends (I'm still not sure what that means actually...).
At lunch my stomach was feeling absolutely dreadful and I decided not to eat anything so as not to further upset it. However, the five dollars in my binder were just too tempting, and when half of lunch passed I asked my friend Malone to get change for the five and get me a Snickers. I'm not sure when they started doing this, but I recently noticed there are little [made-up] words they put on the back of Snickers bars. Today it was "substantialicious" or something of the sort. In any case, it was a terrible thing to eat with an upset stomach, but what can I say? I have no power over my chocolate desires.
Starting today, I am taking "Communication Apps" (some sort of speech class) instead of Open Lab (which is basically study hall). It seems interesting enough, but a little cliche. It's the sort of propaganda class in which they repeatedly tell you (in a variety of different ways) that:
1. You are a mean person and you need to change (because all high school girls are mean of course according to adults. Not to sound all hoity toity but I don't really consider myself or many of my friends to be "mean" ....)
2. You listen to bad music that brainwashes you to believe women are all whores and sex objects
3. You are insecure and need to be less influenced by the media
Personally, I don't think I really listen to bad music. I listen to alternative and electronica mostly, which is generally not women-are-sex-toys propaganda. Even so, it's not difficult to identify the "hidden messages" in rap and pop and that sort of thing. I listen to the words in everything thank you, I know what I'm listening to. I'm not being "brainwashed" or "influenced." I can think for myself, I don't need the media to do that for me.
In any case, we all had to do mini introductions. One option was to say what you wanted to do in the future, which is what I chose. I said that I wanted to live in California and be a psychologist. Since my statement wasn't that long, the teacher asked "why California?" (it wasn't the sort of genuinely curious question, but rather an obligatory one because I didn't talk enough). I responded by saying that's where the crazy liberals were of course, and she laughed asking if I wanted to "cure them." I shifted my eyes nervously, seeing this was not going to be a very good start, and stated that actually, I was also a crazy liberal. It was all rather awkward.
At lunch my stomach was feeling absolutely dreadful and I decided not to eat anything so as not to further upset it. However, the five dollars in my binder were just too tempting, and when half of lunch passed I asked my friend Malone to get change for the five and get me a Snickers. I'm not sure when they started doing this, but I recently noticed there are little [made-up] words they put on the back of Snickers bars. Today it was "substantialicious" or something of the sort. In any case, it was a terrible thing to eat with an upset stomach, but what can I say? I have no power over my chocolate desires.
Starting today, I am taking "Communication Apps" (some sort of speech class) instead of Open Lab (which is basically study hall). It seems interesting enough, but a little cliche. It's the sort of propaganda class in which they repeatedly tell you (in a variety of different ways) that:
1. You are a mean person and you need to change (because all high school girls are mean of course according to adults. Not to sound all hoity toity but I don't really consider myself or many of my friends to be "mean" ....)
2. You listen to bad music that brainwashes you to believe women are all whores and sex objects
3. You are insecure and need to be less influenced by the media
Personally, I don't think I really listen to bad music. I listen to alternative and electronica mostly, which is generally not women-are-sex-toys propaganda. Even so, it's not difficult to identify the "hidden messages" in rap and pop and that sort of thing. I listen to the words in everything thank you, I know what I'm listening to. I'm not being "brainwashed" or "influenced." I can think for myself, I don't need the media to do that for me.
In any case, we all had to do mini introductions. One option was to say what you wanted to do in the future, which is what I chose. I said that I wanted to live in California and be a psychologist. Since my statement wasn't that long, the teacher asked "why California?" (it wasn't the sort of genuinely curious question, but rather an obligatory one because I didn't talk enough). I responded by saying that's where the crazy liberals were of course, and she laughed asking if I wanted to "cure them." I shifted my eyes nervously, seeing this was not going to be a very good start, and stated that actually, I was also a crazy liberal. It was all rather awkward.
Friday, January 4, 2008
I suppose this could be called an introduction
Well..... I found my little sister Natalie's blog and she insisted I make one myself. I'm not really into this whole blogging business but whatever, it should be interesting.
For an introduction, I'm the crazy liberal daughter of family (thus the name of the blog). My parents are moderates by the way, thank god. I don't think I could deal with a conservative family. I am a freshman at a crazy Catholic all girls high school and my Facebook buddies from there join ridiculous groups like "boycott The Golden Compass" (which was a fabulous movie by the way), it's very embarrassing. My mother and sister are Episcopalian, my father is Agnostic, my mom's family is Catholic, my dad's family is Mormon, and I'm Deist--I'm not very religious.
What's going on in my life right now that I don't feel like further embellishing on until something new happens in that area:
1. My ex-boyfriend from 6th grade (whom I have not even had a real conversation with at least two years) apparently is still talking constantly about me and recently mentioned to one of my friends that he is going to slash my tires when I get a car
2. School starts again on Monday (oh boy!)
For an introduction, I'm the crazy liberal daughter of family (thus the name of the blog). My parents are moderates by the way, thank god. I don't think I could deal with a conservative family. I am a freshman at a crazy Catholic all girls high school and my Facebook buddies from there join ridiculous groups like "boycott The Golden Compass" (which was a fabulous movie by the way), it's very embarrassing. My mother and sister are Episcopalian, my father is Agnostic, my mom's family is Catholic, my dad's family is Mormon, and I'm Deist--I'm not very religious.
What's going on in my life right now that I don't feel like further embellishing on until something new happens in that area:
1. My ex-boyfriend from 6th grade (whom I have not even had a real conversation with at least two years) apparently is still talking constantly about me and recently mentioned to one of my friends that he is going to slash my tires when I get a car
2. School starts again on Monday (oh boy!)
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